Last Time.

March 27, 2009

walking quickly, looking down. the rain hits the pavement and creates blue flashes in the orange glow, asphault wet and glittering from street lamps. my face crumbling, holding back the waterfall threatening to cascade down my cheeks. maybe the rain can just camoflague them. just one more 20. it's always just one more. one more attempt at recovery. one more chance. one more bag. one more mistake. one more slap in the face. maybe this really is the last time. maybe it'll be his laugh breath. are you dead or are you sleeping? god i sure hope you are dead.

i want watch him writhe and squirm on the floor. crying, screaming. to feel every ounch of pain, regret, anger, disappointment and utter sorrow that I have experienced because of him.