Unemployment Woes.

Both of us being currently unemployment is going to be a big big issue. It already is.

First off, I have way too much free time on my heads. This freedom allows to obsess even more compulsively over what fucked up thing my boyfriend is doing at any given moment. I now have the ability to indulge every codie (co-dependent) whim and dig deeper and deeper into his addiction, which in turn sets me back in my own addiction. All day long I can monitor his calls, follow him around, peek into every single thing that he is doing. And he sure doesn't like it.

Secondly, now that he has been approved for unemployment he's already acting sketchy with his money. He used to let me hold the card so he wouldn't blow all the money on drugs. Now he's refusing to give it to me, as well as HIDING it so I can't find it. He insists that when he does get the money he's going to give it all to me so he "can prove himself". Right. I'm sure that on this particular day some out of left field expense will just come out of nowhere and suddenly most of the money will be gone. That's how it usually works.

I need to figure out a plan where I can feel comfortable. I need to know that 2009 will not just be a repeat of '08. I need things to be different because I can't fucking go on like this. Ugh.